Cameron fidgeted in his seat. Akira was in the washroom at the moment, and Cameron was marshaling his courage and will power. Remember you’re not alone anymore, he thought. After rearranging his silverware for the umpteenth time, he felt Akira come back to the table. As Akira  slid into his seat, he smiled at Cameron. 

“It’s been awhile since you’ve asked me out anywhere. Although, to be honest things haven’t been smooth for us lately. I’m glad we’re doing this.” Akira said placing his hand over Cameron’s. He squeezed Cameron’s hand in affection, but once Cameron didn’t reciprocate he removed his hand. 

“Look, I know you’ve been mad at me. Hell Cameron, I’ve been mad at myself. I know I’ve been acting like a jerk lately, and I know it’s just an excuse, but when I see you with them I can’t seem to stop myself. I am trying. Just give me time okay? Tonight let’s make it just about us.” Akira said smiling. Gods, I love that smile. Cameron felt his resolve flicker a little bit, then he tapped his will power.

“Shall we order?” He asked Akira, a smile he didn’t feel on his face. Akira’s whole face lit up as he nodded and started talking about Dish choices that Cameron could order and share. See? You don’t know me. Maybe you never did.  Cameron thought as he joined in the conversation enthusiastically. 

 

Dinner was delicious, as was his habit, Cameron took a photo of his dishes before he ate them. The Chefs at Chez Llama knew what they were doing. Cameron’s lips tightened as he heard Akira sigh at what he was doing. They used to do this together, but that was a long time ago, and everything was different. After he snapped his photo, Cameron put his camera away and looked at Akira.

“We need to talk.” He stated simply. He wasn’t sure how to go about this, so he was just going to ram it out there. 

“Sure about what? Anything you want tonight, it’s yours.” Akira said, his voice was practically purring. Uh huh, sure, Cameron thought.

“I don’t know quite how to bring this up, and I want you to know it wasn’t easy for me,” Cameron started. Akira huffed and sat back in his seat. Then he cut Cameron off.

“It’s about those two isn’t it? You’re still hanging around them aren’t you? Cameron, I thought we discussed this already. It’s too dangerous!” He admonished Cameron, his voice barely above a whisper. To anyone watching it would look like a lovers spat.

“I am and I have been. They’re my friends Akira and you can’t ask me not to have any.” Cameron was starting to get angry.

“I’m not asking you to not have friends, you already have friends. Me, the rest of the guys in the Network. Those two are trouble, and they’re going to ruin things. Besides they’re probably using you anyways. No one becomes friends with you that easily, you’re not that great to get along with.” Akira said. When Cameron’s eyes widened Akira snapped his mouth closed.

“I see,” Cameron said. He was hurt; he knew he was more cautious than most, he also had more to lose, had lost more than the others. At least now he knew what Akira really thought of him. 

“I didn’t mean it like that Cameron. I just meant you can be prickly to people who don’t know you well. Those of us that do, love you all the more for it.” Akira said. Sensing that Cameron was withdrawing, Akira began to sing a love ballad that they both liked, in the past it had worked to calm Cameron down and bring him around to Akira’s way of thinking. Cameron sighed, he had once loved things like this, but now it just sounded flat.

“Look, can you stop please?” Cameron asked. Akira went silent and looked at him. Cameron went to say something, when the waitress came over and asked if they wanted dessert. After sending her away with a No Thank You. Cameron looked at Akira, time to finish it.

“I’m leaving. I’ll have the divorce papers for you by the end of the week.” Cameron just kind of threw it out there. He wanted to get out of here. 

“What?” Akira asked in disbelief. Cameron nodded at him and made to get up. Akira followed him out of the booth. He grabbed Cameron’s arm. 

“You can’t just say that and leave. You owe me-“ Akira started. Cameron wrenched his arm away.

“I owe you? I owe you nothing. In fact you probably owe me.” Cameron said.

“What? I don’t owe you anything.” Akira said. “Let’s go. We can discuss this more at home.” 

“I’m not going back with you. Like I said I’m done. I think I’ve been done for a while. I loved you. I really did. You were my life, and I would have done anything for you. You gave me a purpose in my life, and a place to belong. It was all I ever needed, but you? You apparently needed Justin.” Cameron started ranting. Akira looked around to make sure they were alone. Cameron had never stood up to him like this before.

“Why are you bringing up Justin? There was nothing there. You shouldn’t speak ill of the dead.” Akira admonished Cameron. 

“Nothing there? It doesn’t take two people an hour to carry two file folders up from the archive. All those late night info gathering sessions, interesting it was just the two of you all the time. It doesn’t matter though. You’re right, he’s long gone and I’m a poor substitute. I told myself it’s okay, you come home to me, so it’s all good. Well it’s not. You started getting more possessive after he was executed.” Cameron paused. He could feel Akira glaring at him. 

“I waited and put up with it for years. I waited through Albert, and Lincoln, and Zack. Each time you chose another I kept telling myself the same thing. Each time they were caught you became more stifling. You even stopped really caring about the Network. Well I didn’t, I’ve made It flourish. Everything it’s accomplished lately has been due to me. You are an amazing programmer and I value your skills, so I don’t want to lose you in that regard. I just… I loved you, I still do, but it’s not enough anymore. You don’t want love, you want possessions and I’m not one of them; not anymore. Sign the damn papers, it’s all I’m asking.” Cameron said the last words a bit more forcefully than he had intended.

Akira started to cry and Cameron went to comfort him, but stopped himself. Then he turned and walked out of the restaurant leaving Akira, and the bill. It wasn’t his job anymore.

 

Who would be knocking so late? Zas looked through the peephole, then opened the door. Cameron stood there, a sad smile on his face.

“Ezza’s already in bed. I’m not gonna wake her.” Zas said moving so Cameron could in.

“I don’t want the Pretty Baby to see me like this.” Cameron said. He sounded broken, it wasn’t something Zas was used to hearing.

Without hesitation Zas pulled Cameron to him, and wrapped his arms around Cameron’s thin, shaking body. Friends, real friends didn’t need a story. They just knew. Zas held Cameron as he cried silently, and then made up the couch. After he was sure Cameron was cozy in the bed beside Ezza, he laid there thinking about the future. It’s finally starting.